My fellow bloggers, thank you

I would like to thank everyone who has stopped by this blog over the last 2 years. Thank you for being part of my healing and growth. I hope my sharing has inspired you in some way or at least made you laugh at the silliness of it all. Thank you for the likes. Thank you for inspiring me to write more.

In my native language, I would say “Ngiyabonga ngiyanconcoza!” Loosely translates it means “thank you, m grateful beyond gratitude”

From this heart to yours, thank you! I am also grateful to my fellow bloggers for sharing their stories. I’ve been inspired!

rachel

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Letting go of old self….

I looked at myself in the mirror this morning,

I looked at photos of old self,

All beautiful,

All sexy,

All woman!

I decided to say goodbye to my old self,

I lit a candle for my old self,

I had conversations with old self,

I told her goodbye my love,

It’s been good knowing you my friend,

I have to let you go now!

I need space for the new,

New!

Not old self,

Not familiar self,

New self,

You will always be part of me!

I love you and always will!

rachel

This armor….. is just fear

All of this “no need”

Is a thick armor of shame,

Not enoughness,

Unworthy,

Fear

Fear of not being lovable,

Fear of vulnerability,

Fear of loving too much,

Fear of loss,

Fear of imperfection!

I wish I knew how to let you in,

I want to let you in!

Don’t stop knocking on that door,

Chisel the armor,

I will help

rachel

Love, I am 30

My real birthday is June 1st but my certificates says June 4th. My dad messed up the days between my sister and I. So today I am 30, officially!

I am grateful for love

I am love

I am surrounded by love,

I am swimming in the river of love.

I am unfazed by judgement,

I am not ashamed of the woman I am,

I am in love with me!

I am in love with my blue eyed man,

I am in love with life!

Judge me at your own risk,

I don’t harbor any hate towards you,

I only pray it makes you happy!

At least as much as I am!

rachel

Prepare for Happiness

Ask for what you want

And be prepared to receive it,

Just as you would prepare for the rain when clouds gather,

Happiness needs you to be prepared,

It prevents you from drowning

rachel

My birthdays have always been a time of reflection. I am always left feeling like I have not done enough. This year however, I can safely say, I am happy! Truly I am, I feel blessed! I am blessed! I am totes in love and I am right where I should be!

There’s that unpreparedness for the happiness though! That anxious voice telling me what if I lose it all today? My default had always been to go back to the familiar,but today I am not. Not because I have any certainty of the future, I don’t. It’s because I know I belong here, I am happy here, I have all I need here! If tomorrow should start and I am not happy, that is ok too! Because the needs of tomorrow are already provided for tomorrow! So today I live and I accept the present!

Content!

Dear Ex Lover

Dear ex lover

You were never a lover, but for this poem you are.

Get up and go!

This body isn’t your church for you to cum and worship,

This body isn’t your chapel to cum and ask for forgiveness and speak in tongues, only to get out and sin again!

You can’t cum with your demons in this house, leave them in the street!

This is a holy place!

It is a temple!

My temple!

God’s temple!

Now,

Get up and go

rachel

30 before 30

Angels are People tooo

I think judging comes from assuming “otherness”

I’ve recently noticed this with myself,

Suddenly I am better than,

Because I sat with my demons

When I see the old “other”

I had judged and stayed kept a distance,

Maintain the “other”

The truth is,

I am no angel

I am flawed

I am human

I am still learning

I am still healing

Even from the “otherness”

This is 28 before 30.

rachel