I decided to spend 10 days of my Christmas break with my boyfriend, it’s been six days and I am ready to pack up and leave. Let me give you perspective;
My boyfriend is busy equipping his farm which means the place is basically a dump! No lights, no entertainment (except our company and hanky-panky). The first 5 days including Christmas were bliss! I enjoyed them so much but this morning I woke up feeling blue. It didn’t help that he too was feeling blue. Off course none of us was grown up to tell the other, instead we made each other miserable. The expectations of the other to be responsible for the other’s happiness like a circus monkey, ‘I am unhappy and it is your fault, make me happy ‘. This obviously didn’t work for me, it made me more unhappy and depressed.
After my morning walk I told my lover how I felt. The whole truth, I was feeling cluster-phobic and unhappy, it was not his fault; I just feel trapped (it’s important to note that my car was at his other house so his car was our only mode of transportation). I told him I want my car around in case I need to run errands on my own, luckily he understood! He drove me to his house to get my car and that’s where I am at tonight.
Finn thing is, I miss him so much. I will go to back again to the farm tomorrow! I am glad I asked for my time-out! Maybe that’s what saves my relationship, the understanding that my happiness is just that; my happiness!