My Momma’s Dreams…. Deferred

My momma wanted no child at 23!

My momma had waited for the man who would marry her,

Then my dad came!

All gorgeous and sweet-tongued,

She forgot all her dreams!

And in the depths of the night, I entered her,

No matter what method she tried, I refused to die!

I refused to leave her womb!

Determined to share my gifts with the world,

I stayed!!!

First dream, deferred!!!

I should have been a doctor, her lifelong dream!

I had the brains for it, but not the gall for it!

I can’t stand the smell nor sight of blood!

So I became what I am, me!

Dream 2, deferred!!!

I should have been married at 23, like she wanted.

But I don’t understand marriage, I don’t do things I don’t understand.

I should have had kids by now,

But I just don’t have the desire to have kids, I don’t want any kids.

I should have introduced my boyfriend to her by now, but I cannot stand the judgement,

I know he will come up short! He is not “Christian” enough, he is divorced, he is not loving enough, the Holy Spirit doesn’t allow her to like him, he is wrong for me, I deserve better!

I chose him so he is good enough for me and I love him! That’s all that matters, at least to me.

Dreams deferred!!!

I am my mother’s deferred dreams.

And I am ok with that.

I know before I am a daughter, I am mine! Just mine! The rest comes after!

I am me!

I am not sorry for being a dream deferred!

Dreams deferred, yet again!!!

rachel

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