The broken men

Some men walking amongst us are still little boys looking for a mother to tell them, they are enough!

Woe unto you my sister who even gets close to these

The mother in you wants to take care of them, heal them, give them love

Only problem is, want it they do! But have no idea how to receive it

Your kisses are just a reminder of the love he was robbed of

Your touch reminds of the time that uncle touched him, he knows he didn’t like it but didn’t say no! He knows it was painful but his body betrayed him! If he really didn’t want it, why was he aroused?

You touch and touch and touch until one morning, exhausted from the trying you ask him, what is the problem? Ego bruised, he doesn’t answer. He only turns his face away from you!

You being a mother want to assure him you are here for him, “baby whatever it is, I am here for you”. Still no answer!

You make him breakfast, iron his shirts and kiss him goodbye.

He doesn’t even say thank you! He doesn’t even receive the gift of presence you are giving him. Yet you do as a woman should, you persevere! Hold on, “men are like that” your mother told you

You clean his house, only to find a receipt of a hotel room he booked with one of your friends!

You remember what he said when he got back from that weekend. “His friend had an encounter with a girl who couldn’t satisfy him, he chose to stay with his girl “, you even remember the advise you gave him and how you laughed about it.

Your world crumbles! You have forsaken sexual pleasure for this man! You are mothering him! You are his sister! His friend! How could he?

When he comes back from work, there you are! Waiting to confront him! You want the truth and you want it now!

He smiles, tells you there is nothing happening there! It wasn’t his! It was his friend’s. If only you could believe him! If only you believed him!

You pack your packs and leave! Only to wake up to his calls and messages about how much he needs you.

At that moment you realize, you can’t heal this man! You can love him yes but sooner or later you will also need taking care of. Soon you will also need to have your garden watered, I mean properly watered!

So you hold him and let him know, this is it! You can’t go on like this! You need more than he can offer! He needs help! He needs to face his demons, nobody else can!

You let him go and heal yourself! Not all broken things want to be fixed! Not all broken things are ready to be fixed! No amount of love can heal a person who isn’t ready to be healed.

You walk your journey child, water your own garden. Offer support upon invitation! Be selfish with yourself!

The truth is, until he is ready to lie in bed with his demons, his demons will never allow his water hose to water another!

rachel

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