I have dated quite a bit 🙈; yes I know! I know! That’s not ladylike! I must be courteous about it and say it’s only a few times and a few people. Well allow me to be unladylike; I’ve dated quite a number of people. Some I don’t even remember their names. But i digress; this confession is about something I sort of figured out today.
I’ve been seeing these two awesome guys! Both handsome and well suited in their own way. I like them both but something odd has been happening. Today I would wake and want Mr X1 and the next day I can’t stop thinking about Mr X2. It was confusing but sort of exciting to have the attention of these two awesome men. When X1 wanted me and showed me affection; I my mind was stuck on X2.
My friend got tired of hearing about my back and forth. She told me to write a pros and cons list. 🙄 obviously that was my thought! I mean really? So I decided to do it and wrote the pros and cons list. Obviously there was a clear winner. I asked her, what now? She said write your own needs list; what do you want? See if any of them meet that criteria. This was an AHA! Moment for me!
All of this time I’ve been dating all these men and had no idea what I wanted from them! I would just take whatever I was given. I really didn’t have a clue what I wanted, I just wanted to be loved! But what or how does that look like? I had no clue; that is until today! I know what relationship I want and how it’s supposed to look like! I know how I see love, I had always known but just never acknowledged it. So today I did.
So I formed an algorithm based on the top five things I want in a relationship and scored X1 and X2. As it turns out X1 was is meets most of my criteria at an outstanding 60%🙈 I know!!! I figured unless I am dating myself, 60% is a C- satisfactory! That’s good enough! He meets the most important things; the top 3 so we good. On another day I will share my algorithm.
I am not saying I will never cheat or whatever but for now; I know I will get what I want because I know what I want.
Special thanks to my awesome friend for this realization! We truly are growing up ne!!