I am naturally inclined to find solutions; solving things makes me feel better. I consider sadness, pain and all other unpleasant feelings a problem with a solution. When a friend or a relative or whoever really is going through some tough time; I want to be there and offer solutions. “Just forget about him! You should read this book! You must do this, that and all other things I’ve seen or read”Not all problems have solutions or even need solutions. Mental health issues being some of them. While it’s nice to have people around you if you going through a depression; I don’t think they can solve it! These problems require one to be honest with themselves and have candid conversations with themselves. See a therapist; take a vacation or meditate; these are personal choices. Sadness is something to be felt just like happy is. Your friends and family cannot do this for you. They can be there for you and validate your pain; but only you can feel it!
I am learning to allow people and myself to acknowledge other’s pain without trying to find a solution for it! I am learning to only offer “I am sorry; I hope you it gets better ”
On a totally unrelated note; I think I am afraid of commitment. I think it comes from unrealistic expectations about love and the other person. The expectation that they will solve my problems and it will always be rosy in the relationship. I know how to deal with me in any state; it’s the other person I cannot deal with at any state! Maybe I haven’t been in love the way I will be when I meet my soulmate/s.
We will see.
To all my friends going through tough times: I am here for you! I am sorry I can’t and will not try to end your pain. I love you