Broken 

I see a lot of girls dressed in grown women bodies. We seek for Prince Charming to come love us, heal us, take care of us and basically just give us the love we don’t even know or don’t think we deserve. A lot ofus grew up without fathers, were abused, were bullied and the solution was: find Prince Charming to come and love you! If you have never received this love how do you receprocate it? 

Be careful that you don’t carry the past and not heal from it because like acid it will destroy everything until you decide to deal with it!! You will meet the Prince Charming but have no idea how to receive the love because you don’t think you are enough, you, don’t think you deserve and have no clue how to receive it. 

After a number of unsuccessful relationships I took a mirror and really looked at myself! I realized I had been running all this time. I had been running before I got hurt (because that’s what I i hadn’t  dealt with).  I would get what I want, which was the euphoria of the new relationship but after  3 months I will be bored out of my mind. So what will I do? Run! Leave because the love wasn’t there anymore or because I found out the person snores at night. If a person gives me the chase, wow!! I will love them, because I always get what I want, I just have to! So the solution: chase them until they love me!

It was only after watching some Eckhart Tolle video and starting the healing journey that it hit me: it wasn’t love, it was my ego that needed to be fed! I had no business being in those relationships, I just needed to heal. I needed to heal from the abuse! Yes I am writing a lot about it because I am allowing myself to engage with it, feel it and hopefully heal! I need to access my emotions! Feel them! Yes feel them!

I hope it gets easier 

rachel

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