Somnet 116

I remember when I was young and believed that nothing could conquer love! I would recite Shakespeare’s “let me not the to the marriage of true minds” and really believed love does not alter nor is it shaken!

I would look at my older siblings falling in  and out of love. What always puzzled me was how quickly the whole thing happened. They would declare their undying love and hopes of forever with this person and tomorrow they would hate the person with so much passion. The process was love, hurt, tears, the anger and then moving on to someone else in hope of another forever.

Then I fell in love! My whole world changed. I suddenly understood why birds sing and I knew their songs!  Love possessed me. I wanted to share my dreams with him, wanted to grow old with him and give him babies. It felt  like I had found my purposeabd it was to make this amazing human being happy!!!

Years later we both had changed. I mattered more and wanted to please me for me! He didn’t seem to matter no more. I had simply ran out of love!!!! No wrong was done, nothing! I just didn’t love him! So was Shakespeare wrong? Was I not in love after all? If love truly doesn’t alter, why did my love alter? Why did it die?

Maybe he was talking about self love….Once found self love could be the most liberating thing. Nothing can alter or shake it. It was my mother who taught me to know yourself better than anything in this world so if someone tells you about yourself nothing surprises you or angers you. Know your crooked teeth, big forehead, skinny legs,all of it! Own it and most of all love it and yourself!!!

Since discovering self love I’ve come to learn even though I love today, I reserve the right to alter and shake the love I offer another, but I can’t alter it shake the love I give to myself.

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